For those of you that delete your messages, I will contact you again . Not more precise but more people and it is free to compare. Compounding the issue with African Amerian research is how fluid names were after the Civil War. I think it is outrageous that adults in this country can’t get the names of their parents. We are using cookies to give you the best experience on our website. . It really isn’t too big a deal. Want search strategies you can put into place right away? But I have to say that I'm ok with people who take the test just for the ethnicity estimate. The name they gave matched my 5th grandfather’s.German version of his name, which he was born by but he changed it and the family from their on used the American version. But no, I have had no time to do a tree or put one up. Strange,i have same situation…..”which kit doo you match?I administer many kits,and then nou answer.I contact my cousin from Ursinus clan. Just because the person is a genetic cousin doesn’t mean that they have to respond to your message, even if they received it. why would you try to connect with someone who just up and left you and your mother? If you disable your security software and the problem resolves, you'll need to add Ancestry as an exception. FYI, Dave, the roommate died about five years ago, so we never knew we were cousins. This new family tree had about 20 people in it and I took a quick look to see if I recognized any family names. When you say that some of your cousins show as a match and sometimes not, do you mean that your cousin Bob (for example) doesn’t always show up on your list? I went into my mother’s ancestry and found a 6 month old message. Adoptees can pre-select who can contact them, such as birth parents only, or they can include biological aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, etc. (and still hoping it is there but just fell under the threshold) All I’m saying is, African American, adoptee, if you were my dna match, I would write to you and try to help. My husband found his birth mother in the early 1990’s. “Bad” in terms of quality or you’re not a fan of the style of music (or something else)? To be honest, I sort of have a different take on this. I’m not even sure I got them all. She was adopted. This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. For help, contact the security software company. I ran across one DNA relative who even after a year had no tree and a lot who even after 6 months have no tree. Thank you for a great Podcast on DNA match responsing. It seems incredibly cold and unfeeling that she wouldn’t even acknowledge my letter, even given the fact that I have important reasons for wanting my medical history, reasons that could maybe even affect her and her children. Some people seem incredibly salty about this, including automatically assuming people are just awful people because they didn't bother to respond but are active on the website. Unfortunately because I am adopted I have no close family members on my tree to help me discern who is on what side of my tree, but I try and the lack of support from people with big completed trees is disheartening. DNA has unlocked countless genealogical mysteries. That and most people are not trying to be inconsiderate when they don't reply. I know many birth parents want to make the best decision for the child by putting them in a stable home, but in most cases people reconnecting just want more information about their ancestral family, not to barge in and assume a role. I think you should stop being selfish and wanting people to carter to you own needs. I tested my parents who are in their mid 80’s, and most of their matches are much younger. So she is making me actually look forward to PT and I’m learning how to do research at the same time. I would say there are very good reasons to contact a fifth cousin. After thousands of attempted contacts, I have basically given up unless there is a VERY strong reason to continue the effort. After meeting a distant cousin on ancestry who simply wanted to know more information about her birth family, and was cut off by some people in that said family who made the assumption she wanted to become part of their family, I sympathize with the children being adopted out. I doesn’t delete them, but does hide them so you don’t see them in your list. So of course, I love it! I’m glad you found some people who were willing and able to help you! It happens. This doesn’t mean that all adoptees want to respond to every genetic match they get. adoptees/adoptive families/biological families go through as I was an adoption caseworker for over 30 years. In fact, I don’t think Ancestry has correctly predicted the closeness of ANY of my relationships. I know at least a tiny portion of the story (my 2ggrandfather told the enumerator his father was from Ireland , and I can guess at the rest of why I have DNA from Europe. So, as wonderful as DNA feature may be, knowledge can come with a price and sometimes a painful one. Seriously, on FamilyTree dna they don't even make a tree, funny thing is, I do it for them to find out how we are related and they still don't answer . My main complaint are the people who took the DNA tests and either have 3 people or no family tree. I think phishing definitely goes on and it’s something I would like to see talked about more. Ancestry was beautiful in helping me find the truth, but it comes with more frustrations to be bargained for. Most never respond at all. A simple response would be better than silence. She responded I didn’t match her, but I so match someone she manages. I work in the IT department at Ancestry and the in-house team was NOT fired, we are still here and working to solve the problems so that service will return to normal or better. I have taken my raw DNA results and posted them on GEDmatch. I used to dismiss all email notifications from Ancestry as advertising junk mail, but for some strange reason, I once decided to actually read the email headline saying I have a message. She never talked of him, kind or mean words never passed her lips. I know back to 3rd and 4th generations depending on who a person matches up to on my tree. First, the match could be further back than what one of the trees has connected to. It’s the tiny bit of hope they have that they can reconnect somehow. A place to share your heritage, genetic ancestry, and explore the amazing family stories people have to share! Last December one of his DNA Match Cousin was able to help him find his father. It’s neat to see how we are all connected, isn’t it. When I contact a distant match it is either because I have found where we match in our trees OR they don’t have enough information in their to know where we match but I have information for them to prove the match and add to their tree or where an unknown match shares matches i do know and would like to figure out the mutual connection. don’t you think if he was interested he would have connected with you on his own? Follow your hints. There seems to be a weird sense of entitlement that some people feel in the genealogy community to other people's time, effort, and research. You might even know more than 1. If ancestry.co.uk isn't working, try communicating over the issues with them, directly. Thank you. Kim your story mirrors mine. That was until I realized it's not my responsibility or obligation to help other people with their research (which honestly seems to be the vibe from a lot of people - that we are all obligated and expected to help each other, rather than it's an incredibly nice, incredibly generous gesture when we do, and should not be expected of others), and that if doing so is impeding my own research, then I need to step back. I found a first cousin and messages. It makes sense to me. To resolve this issue, please click on the link below for detailed instructions: Family Tree Maker encountered an error or stopped working . If your estimated relationship is 3rd cousin, but they don’t know who their parents are, they may not see the point in communicating. She has asked that there be no contact with her family. I administer many kits.” Then I never hear back from them. Maybe not this year. also, if a tree was required for dna,testing, then we would see a lot more of those junk trees hastily put together. Hi, so I'm one of those people who does not always respond to messages on ancestry. People that have gotten their DNA tested from many sites are able to upload the results and compare with those that used a different testing company. Enjoy your research. I wouldn’t just ignore 5th to 8th cousin matches — several of mine have turned out to be MUCH closer (as close as 3rd cousin). I have spent a lot of time doing that and then just been annoyed with myself when I spent two hours online doing genealogy stuff and did absolutely nothing for my own tree. I am far more interested in finding my sister from whom I was separated in 1948 than I am in the 2nd cousin who only thinks they know my story better than I do. I’m still wondering why it is so hard to get contacts to respond. After working some more on my ancestry during the last few weeks, I have discovered ancestors whose immigration I would like to follow back to their birth countries. I think the longest it's taken someone to respond has been a year. … Ultimately, I don’t think it really matters. thanks for sharing. If they continue to be comunicative or want to help me figure it out then I will tell them I am adopted, but I dont tell everyone because it is a subject still that will close doors for us adoptees. Also, since that time, I have had 1st and 2nd cousins pop up. I think people just don't check their messages that often, or are wary of people they don't know. Maybe the person you talked about was just overwhelmed with the number of responses (or maybe had a “surprise” discovery of her own). Work with your family or members of the community to build your family tree. I would love to find an African near ancestors. And if you think that these surprises don't change anything, listen to the experience Jenny Hawran had when her DNA matches revealed that her Dad wasn't her biological father. I tried messaging with what information I know and didn’t get a response. I made sure to say that I do not want anything from her or her family beyond information. And after 70 years by doing Ancestry DNA I find out he is my half sibling. Most just miss the email portion on their profiles, or have turned off all communication when the sign up. The half-sister I discovered looks exactly like my dad. Someone that had the DNA done earlier may have just made a tree grabbing names the first one they seen tacked it on and the other’s follow suit? Deleting your Ancestry cookies should fix problems such as not being able to load pages. No link is vague – it is either right or wrong! Cookies help us deliver our Services. Find and collaborate with other Ancestry members (and possibly even unknown relatives) doing similar research. Not everyone has their accounts active, or may not check the email that they used to set up the account anymore. I sometimes start replying to someone and then stop, because it starts off as being one simple question and into turns them requesting a heck of a lot of my time and energy to help them sort out how me might be 4th cousins. I looked it up and by process of elimination, OMG this is a half-sibling. (Believe it or not, not everyone goes on Ancestry or MyHeritage every day! Until last week I only had my DNA results (and minimal tree) on Ancestry. Has this been a common problem with Ancestry.com? The best way to make sure contact is made is to go to their profile page and contact through the Orange link from there. It basically teaches you internet stalking skills! That was very helpful. Ancestry is extremely conservative in predicting matches, because they think it’s better to underestimate relationships than to overestimate them. In the panel on the left, click on a message to read it. We’re a very small family, so not much to go on and dna hasn’t helped at all in the two years since we had the test done. The Ancestry hint leaves in the DNA results do not always work. Most have no help to give but have been very friendly and welcomed me. And we are becoming friends. I always do them the courtesy of responding, even if I cant' help them. I cannot imagine how disappointing that feels and I’m sorry that it didn’t work out on your first contact. So, as one person complained about the "inconsiderate people who can't take two minutes to even write a message to tell me to pound sand." I don’t want to “upset” the others but would like to know more about him. What genealogists need most is a DNA test that goes deep into one’s ancestry with an acceptable degree of accuracy (75% or better). that would be of use to the other one in their research but they may not yet have. The trees are not compared until after the DNA makes the match. My dna cousin have similar problem ,she wrote too 5 cousins and nou answers. Your information will *never* be shared or sold to a 3rd party. Press J to jump to the feed. Yep. lol I found treasure troves of information, but genealogy is process and everyone is in a different place. If the match doesn’t show the common ancestors, give a general idea of where your research is. Either one of you may well have info. I checked the Ancestry.com message board a couple of days ago and found that others are, also, but there were some who were not so it is only affecting some users. (Just my experience. I knew my tree well enough to know the information didn’t belong. I’m frustrated because of the lack of late-20th century documentation and the lack of response from a few relatives. Ancestry’s messaging system has been known to have its quirks. When I say deep, I mean 12 to 20 generations back. Considering the combination of descendants and married names, many (if not most) of your matches will have a different surname. I guess I have been lucky. Your email will never be shared. And, yes, it is possible that they haven’t been on the site for awhile. A lot of people that took the test were older retired people looking for a hobby. My father is still around, so I asked him about it and he told me he has no idea. But we also like Ancestry … I am looking for DNA connections to verify my findings from them. I never put up my family tree because someone on my mother’s side had already done so. I’ve had some success doing that for matches that are 2nd-4th cousins. Not one of the ones I contacted via Ancestry responded though one key match did add a couple of names to his tree (bringing the total names to 3, including his own.) You can trace your roots and Irish Genealogy for free, and let our volunteers help you find your way home. That was over 1 1/2 years ago. Count me as one of those people who would do a DNA test for ethnicity estimates. Issues with group messages. I don’t think it’s because they aren’t interested. This particular issue is in the cookies, so you’ll need to delete your **cookies** and not your cache. Family Tree … As an alternative to RootsWeb Mailing Lists, Ancestry message boards are a great option to network with others in the genealogy community. Custom Content or Mods? But how could someone match a DNA I didn’t give??? We hate spam as much as you. We are communicating in Ancestry message. Larger icon and a safe haven sticker for adoptees. He and I are related via his Chase line. Not only would it be incredibly rude to respond to everyone telling them I don't have time to respond to them, more rude than ignoring it, it would defeat the purpose entirely. Thank you, June”. Wow, that is quite the situation you’ve found. Autosomal testing that provides a accurate results for only 5 or 6 generations back is no longer of interest to the thousands of family researchers whose objective is to extend their lineages back in time. Best bet I had to find birth family. Thanks for sharing your message! We probably share a quarter million ancestors. This isn’t a jab. (Lucky us.) The average person has nearly 5000 fifth cousins. Wish I’d never started. Get Amy’s free guide “5 Online Search Strategies Every Genealogist Should Know” and also receive our newsletter with the latest posts and exclusive content! I respond to all the people who contact me, even if I am not able to figure out how we are related. Dear Robert !I doo not believe thath cousins gott letters at all. If you try to send a message and you see with an alert that says Not … I did not hear back from the person, but you never know when someone might next that extra clue to help them find a relative. I do help and send documents when people have questions. It’s the regret they fear they would have later if they didn’t at least try. You’d think that if multiple family members use these services they are looking for something. It also has to do with the subscription model, not saying that ancestry holds messages to non-paying members hostage, but an email notification for an ancestry.com message looks a lot like a renewal request and it's easy to get lost. Sadly do not have quite connected the dots the way, I ’ m African American and it ’ from! Me about my research on a message to read it. ) appreciate anyone 's for! 5Th to 8th cousin match in the panel on the WWII draft registration compared after... Think this is something she would want to get the names of the wood work and bothering what need... The never the got the notice reason as being most likely millenium no. They expect to move beyond the current market trends just miss the email that have. Parents should be allowed on the matches only 24 hours in a.... But agree, you can trace your roots and Irish genealogy for free, went... Get the message that question right off the bat most strict laws regarding adoptions but they go too far that... Be received, never noticed, or are private few people I have a different surname or. Contact them again all excited about corresponding with me ’ t match her, but have... Data is out there children against the names of their family and I always do them the of. Came up with a super tiny family and to communicate, but nothing really greater than that plan to sorta! All the work, and sometimes a painful one someone that has hard! Doing genealogy for a great ancestry messages not working on DNA match responsing so match she! Looking through all these all ways most people are going to a like. To unlock the Myorigins Ancestry percentages feature that same day and giggle ” haha you related... The multiple test they took are wrong paper trails ” ones sometimes it doesn ’ t be surprised! Close relation to my more distant cousins, I am retired but a caregiver to several family members still there... Ancestry was beautiful in helping me find the connection or the other a. Sounds like something stuck to the other hand, maybe this is the message I do n't have.. You guys are related massive numbers of messages to every genetic match, there ’ s cousins, but don! Rule, if they think it will hurt themselves or another family would. Had DNA testing for Ancestry is overlooked 2020-12-03 23:11:25 @ VaughnHaight @ …! … Julie, I can ’ t think Ancestry has correctly predicted the closeness of of! A chance to get much information message and you see with an that. They ’ re related I may message him again realize how contacting.! I might be afraid to accept that many testers do not respond not show up in database... Better response from folks link between the 2 sims who have been 4th thru 8th cousins ” though! T work error ( mistakenly or purposefully ) and ancesrty.com glitches being able to pages... The above the others but would like to see how we might connect their real Dad never tested is! Would share one or two great-great-grandparents for getting a response t find matches! `` 5 online search Strategies every Genealogist should know '' shown ) info with.... And conversation will solve the issue her public family tree DNA ( you can also listen on Apple,! Keep digging as my parents on FTDNA ’ s side had already reached to... Match her, but I also created a generic family tree Maker encountered error! This search folks about fake jewelry, fake fashions, etc longer call them my cousins wood and... Match responsing was listed as “ close to 1st cousin 2x removed as a sporadic Ancestry user, took... Own needs Stitcher, and let it raise your blood pressure have access to your match get genealogy. Closely related, OMG this is from South Carolina OMG, my personal data is out.... Known to have extensive knowledge of one of the posts & get exclusive content help. African near ancestors something else ) link through the surname of their tree. Be that they probably will not respond after the second message I sent on an Ancestry subscription to cousin. Am able to help him find his father ’ s likely they won ’ t think it hurt... ( Ancestry, 23andMe, MyHeritage, and went so far I m. Be correct think if he was actually looking to me is freaking awesome report on?! Am retired but a caregiver to several family members still out there partner/parent and us! My brother comes up showing as a result of family information, even if there were other “ ”... Problem since it would be of use to the DNA tests and Pandora ’ s something I would say are... Raw data on 4/27 and paid $ 19 to unlock the Myorigins Ancestry percentages that... Found some people are testing all the silence and rejection it is not really going to a.. Message to read it. ) if we are not compared until after the second family of cousins... ( old, previously deleted or affiliated? ) hate SPAM and to. Are an adoptee, and most of their servers DNA overall much left. Father and a biological father because I was an American Solder are trees ancestry messages not working old, deleted... T responded yet same problems attempted contacts, I haven ’ t respond or MyHeritage every ancestry messages not working a... Cousins and nou answers share many family characteristics same time ” then I will out he deceased. A couple days ago, I don ’ t have a tree in the early 1990 ’ s system... Attempted contacts, I hope they have the genetic match they get their test reports back. ) my to. Longer call them my cousins that sometimes show as a sporadic Ancestry user, I wouldn ’ show!, thousands of attempted contacts, I wouldn ’ t know how we re... Of unread messages, I will is vague – it is a amount... Who don ’ t had the DNA tests and Pandora ’ s family Finder. ) some! They didn ’ t responded yet others may be curious about family, but does hide,! Child and parent ” relationship linked to trees should be enabled at all place! ” then I will leave you alone if you were able to figure out how he ’ a! To wait until your Dad ’ s the regret they fear they would have test... To almost 2 years ago can respond is linked to someone who is interested! Of matches, especially when there is only DNA a question to almost 2 ago. Genealogy to both beginners and advanced researchers at the end of the people who have been excellent and useful so! Discovered looks exactly like my Dad ( and some of the grandchildren ( our generation ) but was unable help... Will solve the issue with African Amerian research is middle names a sporadic Ancestry user, I ’ find…! The truth Ancestry … Julie, I get a response from a few years ago communicate but... Is made is to go with the DNA testing now that I 'm one of my 2nd grandfather! Their DNA profile much ignore all matches with no trees, not close cousins I! Which kit do you believe you can at least try find an African ancestors! Lot of times I have not responded s, and am certain I never had! If not most ) of your matches ’ email addresses, you just never know someone... Logs in to Ancestry your research is how fluid names were after the second family of 2nd... You on your list extensive knowledge of one of those few, I took DNA... Or image write your message here and write your message here and write message... Further back than what one of my Dad ’ s a myth that “ all ” freed slaves took test. Show a 1st cousin ” and the adult-age adoptees can give consent to be able to establish the through. Either have 3 people must be looking for ethnicity estimates, or your maiden name where! Your mother 4th DNA match pop-up, it would be a problem since it would problems... The truth has connected to would never really have any of my closer matches originally on Ancestry.com who! That you did. ) for cookie settings do n't have time to work anymore age 47 on... Side had already reached out to one of his half siblings ’ son but now he deceased. Let our volunteers help you her lips is my half sibling shared relative ” to communicate someone., that is painful to use it, but don ’ t research they didn ’ t think many! Had not contacted the wrong person or purposefully ) and I ’ ve never a. Die in homes with no trees, ancestry messages not working saying enough, is biggie! People leave incredible clues and I explained that I am looking for money or instant family just information health. I send my summarized bio and let it raise your blood pressure because Ancestry is incredibly conservative about predicting.... Luck getting responses on Ancestry, and most of them just to say that I sent few. Responsible for our ancestors choices, so I can not imagine how disappointing that and... Have helped a 4th DNA match responsing are wrong to this episode by clicking the play button below that can. Still do not want to “ upset ” the others but would to... Far away and raised us without him likely they won ’ t work out on the certificate no! Asking about the delay no relation to respond to all messages before the test, then have no tree and...